Merry Christmas Eve! Admittedly, it has been difficult to get into the Christmas spirit given my current condition. But, my mom is here and my brother is in the way, so all will be well.
Last night and this morning were a little rough. The mot pain I am having is in my shoulders and back from the gas that they use to blow up your abdomen during surgery. The pain makes it difficult to sleep. I took two of my pain killers last night in hopes it would help me sleep, but that definitely backfired on me as I woke up with intense nausea. I'm learning that my body does not agree with hardcore pain medicine.
I got over the nausea and have had a pretty good day. I am trying to learn my body's new signals. Feeling hungry and feeling full are totally different now. I'm also trying to distinguish those between surgical pain and gas pain. The good thing is that the surgical pain is greatly decreasing each day.
My unhealthy relationship with food is becoming more evident. Even though my stomach is full, my brain desperately wants food that I cannot have. Right now I'm on a full liquid diet, which is very unsatisfying. Towards the end of the week, I will get my drain and staples out and move to puréed foods, which will give me more variety. I can purée low fat and low sugar foods such as turkey chili, which sounds much better than pudding at the moment.
Our Christmas morning tradition is eggs Benedict and homemade cinnamon rolls. Needless to say, I won't be having any of that tomorrow. That will be difficult, but it would make sick beyond belief and possibly damage my healing incision in my stomach. That's enough to stop me!
The way I understand it is that I will, eventually, be able to eat all foods again, though it will take months to get there. Some people still struggle with real sugar and high fat foods even long after surgery, but it all depends. No matter what, my portion sizes will always be greatly decreased.
I will continue to struggle, but continue to learn. I know that when the weight starts coming off this will all be more than worth it.
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