My love affair with food has been changed. I still enjoy good food, don't get me wrong. I enjoy it in much smaller portions and I enjoy healthier options. I mourned my loss of food for a very long time. It would be sad to me that I couldn't eat 2 plates full of food. I think the grieving time is over. I am learning to satisfy my mind with less food.
Is it weird that it still bothers me to waste food? We ate at the buffet at our resort often and I rarely finished a plate. I tried to get as little as possible so I wouldn't waste, but sometimes I wanted tastes of many different things. I held such guilt while I was there. I know there were people just miles from me who are hungry and here I am; throwing away food. It just messes with me. But I have to keep telling myself- just because they are hungry doesn't mean you have to eat their portion too. I still remember my grandma making me finish my happy meal when I was little because she grew up so poor and went hungry often.
I have made sacrifices and sometimes people are surprised at some of the things I have to do that comes as a result of this surgery. Just to name a few...
No more ibuprofen or aspirin for the rest of my life.
Eliminating foods with added sugar. (And if I do make a poor decision, I pay for it!)
Never eating and drinking at the same time. (It hurts!!)
Plastic surgery for loose skin.
I would do it all over again!! Obesity is like a prison. It's a vicious cycle that is so hard to get out of. The freedom I feel is amazing. I know that I could not have done this without the surgery as a tool. Because of the surgery, I was able to get weight off and be motivated by the results. I am able to exercise now without my joints rebelling. I now have the tools to keep going with my weight loss and live a healthy life. How lucky am I to have a second chance at life?
My 28th birthday will mark one year since I began my journey. I think that calls for a party!
