Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Two days until freedom!
Tomorrow, we have kids until noon and then Wednesday is our institute. Freedom! Of course, Thursday is the Six Flags trip, but that's mostly fun.
I hit 81 pounds lost this morning! I definitely did a happy dance. I feel so wonderful. I have 7 more pounds to lose to hit my goal before vacation. I've got three weeks. I think I can do it. Every single pound is a victory. I can't believe I'm so fortunate to have this second chance at an active, healthy, and fulfilling life. I know now that I can accomplish anything. Bring on the 5K training! I ran all the way from my house to a friend's tonight. I'm sure it was no farther than 1/8 of a mile, but that's still an accomplishment for me!
I can now see the 100 pound mark ahead of me.. I am so excited to get there. I would really like to be there by the end of summer.
Naturally, I have some issues with loose skin now. I knew that I would, but it's still unpleasant. My arms are really showing if right now. My stomach, inner thighs, and butt aren't far behind. Plastic surgery will happen eventually. But, I figure it would be more intelligent to wait until after I'm done stretching out my stomach from having kids before I get any tucks done. Or maybe I could do the non-stomach tucks first. I don't know. I do have plastic surgery connections (don't ask me how!), and he's ready for me whenever I'm ready. First, I have 57 more pounds to lose!
Next week, I'll be playing with the Urbana Pops Orchestra. I'm so excited to play my flute again! I really miss it. Maggie isn't too thrilled about the flute thing because it means that the attention is not focused on her...
Friday, May 17, 2013
Summer... almost!
I suppose I'm overdue for an update. I'm not even sure that people read this, but it's nice to put my thoughts out there.
Since the musical ended, it has been a constant rush at school to get spring concert music learned, wrap up music appreciation classes, and get about 120 students auditioned for next year's ensembles. The junior high concert was last Monday. It went well! I'm really excited about next year's junior high choir. The ensemble is looking very strong. I can't wait to start working with them. (But first, I need a 2.5 month break.)
The high school concert is on Sunday. We had a month to learn our music since we didn't do much choir rehearsal during the musical. Beauty and the Beast was just so much more difficult that I had to take a lot of choir time to rehearse. And I picked very difficult music for the high school choir this semester. Our biggest challenge is a Gerald Finzi piece that is typically sung by college ensembles. I am so proud of them for working their butts off on it and getting it learned for the concert.
On Sunday I will be 5 months out from surgery. I am currently 78 pounds down total and 70 post-op. I've been on a stall for about 2 weeks now, but that's normal.
I am loving my new life. I love the energy I have and I love my new body. I still have 60 pounds left to lose (which seems really daunting right now...), but I'm just trying to enjoy my body currently.
The natural stretching of my stomach is freaking me out. I am so terrified of gaining back the weight. This is the part where I have to tell myself to keep using my surgery as a tool and not a solution. I will be able to eat more food, but it's up to me to make healthy choices. I literally have had nightmares about gaining all of the weight back.
I am still committed to not eating sugar. I have tried a few things that have added sugar, and most of it does not bother me. However, I am making the voluntary commitment to stay away from it. I also try to avoid carbs. I don't eat pasta (but I crave it sometimes!), and I have massively cut back on bread.
I eat a lot of cheese and drink a lot of milk. I'm so glad that I love dairy and that it's a healthy part of my diet because of the protein.
I am still running bits at a time. Once school gets out, I plan on starting the C25K training. It is still exciting for me that I can run a whole block! It's difficult to run with Maggie though because she is so ADD. She will not be doing the C25K training for me. There are too many squirrels, kitties, and poop to smell in the world for her.
One month until I head to the Dominican Republic! I can't wait! And I have an entire new wardrobe to take with me!
One full week of school left... !
Since the musical ended, it has been a constant rush at school to get spring concert music learned, wrap up music appreciation classes, and get about 120 students auditioned for next year's ensembles. The junior high concert was last Monday. It went well! I'm really excited about next year's junior high choir. The ensemble is looking very strong. I can't wait to start working with them. (But first, I need a 2.5 month break.)
The high school concert is on Sunday. We had a month to learn our music since we didn't do much choir rehearsal during the musical. Beauty and the Beast was just so much more difficult that I had to take a lot of choir time to rehearse. And I picked very difficult music for the high school choir this semester. Our biggest challenge is a Gerald Finzi piece that is typically sung by college ensembles. I am so proud of them for working their butts off on it and getting it learned for the concert.
On Sunday I will be 5 months out from surgery. I am currently 78 pounds down total and 70 post-op. I've been on a stall for about 2 weeks now, but that's normal.
I am loving my new life. I love the energy I have and I love my new body. I still have 60 pounds left to lose (which seems really daunting right now...), but I'm just trying to enjoy my body currently.
The natural stretching of my stomach is freaking me out. I am so terrified of gaining back the weight. This is the part where I have to tell myself to keep using my surgery as a tool and not a solution. I will be able to eat more food, but it's up to me to make healthy choices. I literally have had nightmares about gaining all of the weight back.
I am still committed to not eating sugar. I have tried a few things that have added sugar, and most of it does not bother me. However, I am making the voluntary commitment to stay away from it. I also try to avoid carbs. I don't eat pasta (but I crave it sometimes!), and I have massively cut back on bread.
I eat a lot of cheese and drink a lot of milk. I'm so glad that I love dairy and that it's a healthy part of my diet because of the protein.
I am still running bits at a time. Once school gets out, I plan on starting the C25K training. It is still exciting for me that I can run a whole block! It's difficult to run with Maggie though because she is so ADD. She will not be doing the C25K training for me. There are too many squirrels, kitties, and poop to smell in the world for her.
One month until I head to the Dominican Republic! I can't wait! And I have an entire new wardrobe to take with me!
One full week of school left... !
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Success!
I can't believe another musical is over. I'm not completely sure what I will do with my life...
It was a huge success! The gym was packed for all three performances, and we got so many compliments. I'm going to have a hard time topping this one next year.
I finally passed the 70 pound mark! I am down 71 pounds total and 63 post-op. And, for the record, pulling 14 hour days is so much easier when you're 70 pounds lighter. I am still exhausted, but I don't feel the aches and pains that I felt last year.
Now I will be moving my concentration to getting ready for my spring concerts, doing auditions, graduation, and training for my 5K.
Maggie comes home to me on Wednesday! I have missed her so much.
26 school days left!
It was a huge success! The gym was packed for all three performances, and we got so many compliments. I'm going to have a hard time topping this one next year.
I finally passed the 70 pound mark! I am down 71 pounds total and 63 post-op. And, for the record, pulling 14 hour days is so much easier when you're 70 pounds lighter. I am still exhausted, but I don't feel the aches and pains that I felt last year.
Now I will be moving my concentration to getting ready for my spring concerts, doing auditions, graduation, and training for my 5K.
Maggie comes home to me on Wednesday! I have missed her so much.
26 school days left!
Sunday, April 14, 2013
"Tale as old as time..."
It's musical week!
What a challenging show this has been, but it's finally starting to look like a show on stage. The costumes came in on Friday and they look amazing! I am so excited for the community to witness all of the hard work we have put into the show.
I haven't had any time to do any running in the past week, and I've been missing it. I won't have any time this coming week, either. I'll be thankful to have my evenings back once the show is over.
I hit the 69 pounds down mark this week. I feel fantastic, even though I am exhausted from the stress of the musical.
Just over 9 weeks until I head to the Dominican Republic. I want 19 more pounds gone!
31 more school days left. The musical, two concerts, and lots and lots of students to audition for next year's ensembles. Bring it on!
What a challenging show this has been, but it's finally starting to look like a show on stage. The costumes came in on Friday and they look amazing! I am so excited for the community to witness all of the hard work we have put into the show.
I haven't had any time to do any running in the past week, and I've been missing it. I won't have any time this coming week, either. I'll be thankful to have my evenings back once the show is over.
I hit the 69 pounds down mark this week. I feel fantastic, even though I am exhausted from the stress of the musical.
Just over 9 weeks until I head to the Dominican Republic. I want 19 more pounds gone!
31 more school days left. The musical, two concerts, and lots and lots of students to audition for next year's ensembles. Bring it on!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Sunday night ramblings
The start of another week. The last week of regular rehearsals. Next week we begin dress rehearsals. Aaahh! What was I smoking when I picked this show?! Life-sized teapots, transforming Beasts...
But it will all be amazing in the end, I know it.
So here are the stats: 67 pounds total and 59 post-op.
The amount of energy I have is, frankly, thrilling to me. I love that I'm not exhausted by being on my feet all day. I love that I can run up a flight of stairs. Hell, I'm loving that I can run an entire block! I can now run all the way from Fairground to Summer street in Hillsboro. It probably sounds stupid to most of you, but coming from 300+ pounds and not being able to run more than 10 feet, it's quite an accomplishment. I am also enjoying it, especially as the weather gets warmer. Maggie is loving it, too.
I think I'm starting to unravel all of my issues with my new physical perception.
Like I have said before, I have struggled with weight most of my life. After puberty, it became a very big issue. Naturally, this affected my self esteem. No one wanted to date me in high school, and I was sure it was because of my appearance. I still don't know why, but it doesn't matter now. I'm not here to dwell on the past.
Anyways, I would obsess about my appearance, trying to find something that was attractive. Do you ever notice that after you look at a word a lot, it starts to look really weird or distorted? I think that happened with me. I started to distort what I saw in the mirror and only saw what I wanted to see, which was, of course, someone much smaller. Then I would see pictures and be surprised at how I looked. My brain would choose to ignore that.
My current weight it where I think my mind was nearly 70 pounds ago. So now, what I see in the mirror is what my brain is actually seeing! So it's like nothing has changed.
Did any of that even make sense?
No? Okay. I think Beauty and the Beast has damaged my brain.
Ultimately, I did this to better my health and to live a longer, fuller life. However, I dare to hope that this weight loss may help me to be more attractive to someone... I know, I know, appearance shouldn't matter to someone who loves you, but let's be honest. It does. There has to be an element of physical attraction in a relationship.
I have about 2 more months to get to my goal before vacation in the Dominican Republic! 23 more pounds.
But it will all be amazing in the end, I know it.
So here are the stats: 67 pounds total and 59 post-op.
The amount of energy I have is, frankly, thrilling to me. I love that I'm not exhausted by being on my feet all day. I love that I can run up a flight of stairs. Hell, I'm loving that I can run an entire block! I can now run all the way from Fairground to Summer street in Hillsboro. It probably sounds stupid to most of you, but coming from 300+ pounds and not being able to run more than 10 feet, it's quite an accomplishment. I am also enjoying it, especially as the weather gets warmer. Maggie is loving it, too.
I think I'm starting to unravel all of my issues with my new physical perception.
Like I have said before, I have struggled with weight most of my life. After puberty, it became a very big issue. Naturally, this affected my self esteem. No one wanted to date me in high school, and I was sure it was because of my appearance. I still don't know why, but it doesn't matter now. I'm not here to dwell on the past.
Anyways, I would obsess about my appearance, trying to find something that was attractive. Do you ever notice that after you look at a word a lot, it starts to look really weird or distorted? I think that happened with me. I started to distort what I saw in the mirror and only saw what I wanted to see, which was, of course, someone much smaller. Then I would see pictures and be surprised at how I looked. My brain would choose to ignore that.
My current weight it where I think my mind was nearly 70 pounds ago. So now, what I see in the mirror is what my brain is actually seeing! So it's like nothing has changed.
Did any of that even make sense?
No? Okay. I think Beauty and the Beast has damaged my brain.
Ultimately, I did this to better my health and to live a longer, fuller life. However, I dare to hope that this weight loss may help me to be more attractive to someone... I know, I know, appearance shouldn't matter to someone who loves you, but let's be honest. It does. There has to be an element of physical attraction in a relationship.
I have about 2 more months to get to my goal before vacation in the Dominican Republic! 23 more pounds.
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